What Are The Dumbest Types Of Facebook Commenters?

Curt Schilling’s recent Facebook activity has made me wonder what the worst types of Facebook commenters are. There’s not much more I need to add to this intro but I usually like to add a couple sentences before I get to the content. To the contestants.

1. Your Racist Uncle

Honestly this guy is becoming kind of a cult hero on Facebook. Everyone has the ultra political, sometimes racist family member. You just gotta let him do his thing. If he wants to rant about Obama and how his policies haven’t worked, fine. If he wants to rant about how Donald Trump is the best candidate because he tells it like it is, great. And if he wants post a selfie with his gut hanging out of a white t-shirt with a box of half-eaten Twinkies and the confederate flag in the background, well then maybe find yourself a new uncle.

2. Guy Who Posts Controversial Stuff And Deletes It

I already dealt with this in the Schilling blog. You’re basically admitting you’re in the wrong when you delete a controversial post. Either admit you made a mistake or keep it up and defend yourself. If you are gonna delete something though at least be transparent as to why. After the Carolina Panthers rescinded Josh Norman’s franchise tag yesterday, Cardinals cornerback Patrick Peterson tweeted this out:

Screen Shot 2016-04-21 at 2.05.38 PM

He deleted it shortly after, which I originally thought was a cheap move. But then he actually tweeted why he deleted it. I respect that.

Screen Shot 2016-04-21 at 3.00.17 PM

3. The Self Promoter

We don’t need to hear about your accolades dude. Yes, once in a while if you want to express happiness over a new job or a deep-water diving certificate, fine. But if you write an article in the student paper I don’t want to hear about how its changed your life. Promote it with a link and a comment? Absolutely. Write an essay about how far you’ve come since last week when you only had one published article and now you have two? No thanks.

4. Random Statement Guy

On Twitter you can say whatever you want. You can take me through your day. Just had an apple, now watching TV, later going to my colonoscopy. Fine. Dandy. But Facebook is not the platform for these types of random tidbits. You’ve got to understand your different social media sites. Want to send a nude? Snapchat not Instagram. Want to slide in with a vague-yet-suggestive opener? Twitter DM’s, not actual tweets. How about posting a picture of your 4th grade basketball participation trophy? Trick question, never post a picture of your 4th grade basketball participation trophy.

5. Essay Argumenter

I have a friend who writes huge Facebook essays. In his defense, he’s self aware of his propensity to pen dissertations. But when it’s 2:00 A.M. and you’re stuck in the mud with a 100+ comment conversation on the Philadelphia 76ers and Minnesota Timberwolves? Take that to the text message arena homies.

Bonus: Inspirational Quote Mate

I don’t go on Facebook to get inspired. I go on because I’m bored and I obsessively click Facebook out of habit. I’m not proud of that. But when I open my computer, I immediately just type ‘F’ and hit enter. Do I actually want to spend my time there? No. But my fingers don’t give me a choice. So the last thing I want to see is some inspirational quote telling me to live life to my fullest. If I was trying to do that I wouldn’t be on Facebook.

Related Posts

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *