The Government Should Be More Focused On Low Level Drug Crimes Than Stolen Netflix Passwords

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We heard yesterday that sharing your Netflix or HBO GO password is now a federal crime. Well the online streaming world has turned to chaos. We’ve got in-laws doing community service because they couldn’t stop watching Community. Friends of friends doing time in the slammer for caring about women prison conditions and checking out Orange Is The New Black. Sketchy neighbors who broke into your house being labeled as “dangerous” just because they watched an entire season of Veep on your tv screen without your permission while you were on vacation.

The ironic thing is HBO and Netflix aren’t even upset about password sharing. MarketWatch

“We love people sharing Netflix whether they’re two people on a couch or 10 people on a couch. That’s a positive thing, not a negative thing,” Hastings told reporters. He went on to say, “As kids move on in their life, they like to have control of their life, and as they have an income, we see them separately subscribe. It really hasn’t been a problem.”

These executives are smart. They see sharing Netflix passwords as a way to hook in young viewers before they are able to make income on their own. It’s similar to how a street dealer wouldn’t care about giving away free weed or pills. Give the customer a little taste now and you’ll have a gateway to future profits.

My question is why the government seems so concerned with me studying all-time Netflix comedies like “The Do-Over” but is fine with me selling an eighth to my 11-year-old neighbor Shelly. It seems as though lawmakers want to incentivize kids to leave the house and play outside. But trust me, with enough of that stuff in your system you’ll think you’re involved in a complex Russian spy operation on an Amazon Prime tv show anyway.

It simply doesn’t make sense to convict on password-related theft crimes but not impose the maximum sentence on a high school senior smoking weed in his parents’ garage. Because these types of juveniles are often not mutually exclusive. Generally the college student indulging in underage alcohol use is the same kid illegally streaming Game Of Thrones on his roommate’s laptop while his roommate gets laid down the hall.

So if you’re gonna go after the Netflix watching demographic, maybe first start with a frisk of their college dorm. You may find a lot of potentially used drug paraphernalia. You also may find stolen toast from the dining hall which should open up a separate investigation entirely.

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