Steve Harvey With Possibly The Biggest Blunder Ever

Oh my God. That was brutal to watch.

I can just imagine the producers watching that live. Like ‘NOOOO, Harvey you idiot, how are you gonna explain this?’ I’m sure there was that one rogue producer who suggested to just let Colombia win. Nobody would know the difference. Colombia gets the crown, Philippines life is destroyed, people go back to their daily lives watching Pablor Escobar and Narcos.

Instead, Harvey made a whole hoorah on stage and we got the most awkward moment in live TV history.

 

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That face from Miss Philippines: “You’re watching this, right? She’s getting the crown forcibly removed from her head. This is so embarrassing. I want to stop it but I also want to be Miss Universe, what a dilemma.”

And for all the people saying it was staged, I understand the argument. Yes it gets people talking about Miss Universe and could be a ratings bonanza for future pageants. But I don’t think they could’ve faked it that well. Harvey seemed genuinely fucked. Like a good-natured, alcoholic father who can’t seem to do anything right.

*Alcoholic father who can’t seem to do anything right*

“Hey Jimmy, I got the concert tickets you wanted.”

“No, dad, I said Aerosmith not Arrowhead.”

 

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“But I paid so much for these tickets and I thought it was something we could do together…”

*Jimmy walks away*

*Alcoholic father cracks open bud heavy*

Like imagine just standing there, watching the celebration unfold, knowing that you’re about to cause a HUGE controversy.

My thinking is you just got to give Colombia the crown. Phillipines didn’t seem too upset with second place anyway. What you don’t know won’t hurt you?

*30 years later, Miss Philippines hanging out on a beach in the Philippines*

Miss Universe Producer: “Oh my God. You’re Miss Philippines.”

Miss Philippines: “Yes, I am! Thanks for noticing.”

Producer: “Hey remember that pageant you lost 30 years ago to Miss Colombia?”

Miss Philippines: “Of course I do. Worst loss of my career.”

Producer: “Well I was a producer on the show and I just thought you should know, you actually won. Steve Harvey read the wrong name and we decided to just go with it rather than cause a circus.”

*Producer dives into ocean never to be seen again*

*Miss Philippines screams as she destroys a toddler’s sandcastle*

Anyway I just think the competition thing is played up way too much. Who cares if you come in first or second. Clearly it’s entirely subjective. The whole pageant thing teaches young girls to place their self worth on what others label you as. A pretty terrible lesson if you ask me.

P.S- Harvey’s misspellings in his apology: C’MON man. If you’re trying to apologize you can’t fuck up both names. One, maybe. But both just shows a lack of commitment to the apology game.

 

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And the card, how the hell do you have “Miss Universe” in the bottom right corner. I never look at the bottom right corner of things. Nutrition facts, semester grades, jury duty. That’s the last place anyone looks, so give Harvey a small pass on that.

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