Peyton Manning Cries At Retirement Press Conference Like A Little Baby

ESPN

Saying the time was right, an emotional Peyton Manning thanked family, friends and former teammates, coaches and opponents Monday as he ended his historic NFL career.

After taking a few moments to compose himself, Manning opened his remarks to a packed meeting room with a recollection of his first pass, first touchdown and first game as a pro. And he recalled meeting Hall of Famer Johnny Unitas during that rookie season.

“I had a chance to shake Johnny Unitas’ hand and he said, ‘Peyton, you stay at it,'” Manning said. “Well, I have stayed at it, I stayed at it for 18 years. And I hope old No. 19 is up there, with his flattop and maybe his black high-tops on and I hope he knows that I have stayed at it.

“There’s just something about 18 years; 18 is a good number, and today I retire from pro football.”

In just under 13 minutes, Manning also tried to thank two NFL cities and two franchises, as well as the University of Tennessee, and he tried to sum up his 18 seasons, five MVP awards, two Super Bowl wins and a pile of records.

And he even signed off with an “Omaha.”

Manning said he called each of his former coaches over the past few days — Jim Mora, Tony Dungy, Jim Caldwell and John Fox — and he spoke to Broncos coach Gary Kubiak. Manning said later he had called each of the coaches in the order in which he had played for them.

Manning also told a story about his daughter Mosley asking him if Super Bowl 50 was “the last game.”

“Yes, Mosley it’s the last game of the season,” Manning said. “Then she asked, ‘Daddy, is this the last game ever?’ And that’s just when I shook my head in amazement because I was thinking, ‘Mort and Adam Schefter had gotten to my 5-year-old daughter to cultivate a new source.'”

“The Sheriff” gave his retirement announcement yesterday and almost cried about 18 different times. I use the number 18 because it is the exact amount of interceptions Peyton threw in that game against the Chiefs. You remember, the game where he went 5 of 20 and Brock Osweiler almost had an aneurysm running onto the field.

It was a pretty historic day for Peyton, mostly because it was the first day of his career without Jeff Saturday’s ass in his face. Although Jeff was front row and you never know what kind of shenanigans those two hunting buddies get after on their off days.

One big takeaway I took away from this press conference was that Peyton Manning has no respect for American pioneer Paul Revere. I know more than I ever wish I did about the “Bostonian Tarzan” because I spent an entire day at the Old North Church in Boston talking to a guy named Bernard about his legacy. And by ‘his’ I mean Paul Revere’s legacy not Bernard’s, that’s a different story. But for those who don’t know Revere personally, he’s the second greatest Paul of all-time right after the inventor of the modern pretzel rod, Paul Newman.

Pretzels_Rods_prodDetail
The best pretzel I’ve never had.

To get back to my original hypothesis, Peyton kept saying he “reveres football” without explicitly thanking Mr. Revere for giving him the freedom to practice football without representation. I think that’s something the colonials fought for in World War II.

Also, I know Peyton was joking about his daughter being a new source for Schefter and Mort but if you think Mort didn’t jump out of his hospital bed and try to get on the phone with Mosley Manning, you’re a pretty sane person and not me at all because that’s exactly what I was thinking.

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