Of Course Scott Van Pelt Was In The Right For Not Wanting Coleslaw On His Sandwich

Screen Shot 2016-08-07 at 5.45.43 PM

Awful Announcing

If you’ve even heard of Primanti Brothers, you know that their hook is french fries and cole slaw on sandwiches. A lot of cole slaw. Apparently, SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt either didn’t know this, or did know it and tried to get a sandwich without the slaw at the famous Pittsburgh eatery. It didn’t go well as he recited a story from several years back

I feel him. I’m not a fan of cole slaw either. Never touch the stuff. It’s wet cabbage, and I’m not a fan of cabbage either. However, you can’t go into a place known for cole slaw on sandwiches and ask them to hold the cole slaw. You probably should be able to, but that’s like … their thing. I visited the place and I didn’t have the nerve to ask them to hold the cole slaw. I couldn’t do it. For me, it would be like urinating on the Clemente statue. I took some of it off, because they do put entirely too much of that stuff on there, but I took the plunge. Even with the slaw, it wasn’t half bad.

As a fellow cole slaw shunner, I understand Scott’s position. But you have to do your homework. And you can’t piss off the locals. It’s bad optics.

Coleslaw? We talkin’ bout… coleslaw? Not a roast beef sandwich, not a three-pound bacon chili cheeseburger, not a chicken pesto mozzarella panini with fries. We takin’ bout coleslaw, man. To quote the great Allen Iverson, I know it’s important. I know it’s supposed to be on the sandwich at Primanti Bros. But going after SVP for this is just plain silly. If you don’t like coleslaw, you shouldn’t be forced to eat a sandwich with coleslaw on it. You should be able to politely ask your server to ixnay on the oleslaw, kay. I just don’t get this societal pressure not to offend the restaurant. So you’d rather keep your mouth shut and not enjoy your sandwich? Are you also the kinda person who says a movie was great just because critics gave it rave reviews? Do you order steak well-done just because the person before you ordered well-done? You’re not fooling anyone. We both know you wanted medium rare.

Maybe I’m biased. I, myself, am not a coleslaw man. The texture just freaks me out and I don’t even want it on the side of my sandwich, nevertheless stuffed between the bread. But I think we’re hitting on a larger issue here. People caring about what other people eat, or more accurately, feigning outrage over popular faux pas. And it’s a shame. Because if a guy like Scott Van Pelt can’t order a sandwich the way he wants it without the internet jumping all over him, what about the rest of us? Are we confined to the shackles of society’s majority rule too? Will I have to congratulate my buddy on his engagement even if I hate his girlfriend? Do I have to tweet that Game Of Thrones was awesome even if it’s a sub par episode? It’s a slippery slope guys. And I for one am not a fan of skiing so I’d rather not go down.

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *