Is There Anything Worse Than Throwing A Dollar In A Vending Machine And Having Nothing Come Out?









So I took a stroll to the vending machine at work yesterday. Threw a buck in, clicked E9 or whatever it was, and out came 3 delicious chocolate chip cookies. Or so I expected. Instead the three-cookie combo pack, I usually go with the Famous Amos but I was feeling crazy, spun to the front and just stopped. Everyone’s been there. First comes the shock that your snack didn’t fall. Then the desperate attempt at shaking the machine for recovery. And finally the acceptance that you’re either gonna have to throw in another dollar or go snackless till dinner.

Now I’m a guy that knows how to handle a vending machine. Back at basketball camp when I was kid I once discovered I could get two candy bars if I pressed the button again immediately after the first one dropped. It was ingenious. I had older guys from all over the courts asking me how I fixed the system. Why I had two cookies and cream bars (underrated by the way) while they only had one.

But yesterday I was hopeless. Standing around the vending machine without a snack in my hand like an idiot. I looked like Costanza after that mechanic stole his Twix bar. You know the one with the cookie crunch. And I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘hey Zach, why not throw in another buck and get your cookies? Maybe you’ll even get your money’s worth and two packs will drop?’ Obviously I thought about that. But unfortunately it was the last buck left in my wallet. It was a perfect storm. I wasn’t meant to eat that cookie.

I’d say only these two small things could compare:

1. Saying hi to someone and having them not hear you

BRUTAL in a college environment. Did they not hear me? Should I wave? Was I not speaking loud enough? Were they not able to recognize me in these sunglasses? Are they intentionally ignoring me? Do I not have a memorable face? Have I not have enough social encounters with the person where it becomes acceptable to say what’s up? These are the questions that come with an unreturned pleasantry. Takes the wheels out of my day.

2. Buying the first round and not getting reciprocated

You buy the first round of drinks for your friends. You feel like a big shot but you’re also waiting for them to buy the next few rounds. Only it never happens. Now you can’t be that guy who demands they pick up the next round. That’s just petty. But it’s just common courtesy to even it out and it drives you crazy.

I’ll say the unreciprocated hello wins here. But you bet your ass I’ll be dipping my arm in that vending machine at work today.

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One Comment

  1. sander April 21, 2016 Reply

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