Is Pokemon Go A Form Of Mind Control?

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Detroit Free Press

Like a lot of people this summer, Detroit Lions guard Larry Warford started playing Pokemon Go. The location-based augmented reality app caught the world by storm. When it was it released in early July, Warford was living in Tempe, Ariz. He downloaded the app and started to play.

“I’ll tell you why I stopped playing it,” he said Monday. “I was walking down Mill Avenue in Tempe, Ariz., pretty much on (Arizona State’s) campus. … I was walking down and literally everyone that was on their cell phone walking down that same street was playing Pokemon Go. I was looking at their screens and it was about 30, 40 people walking down Mill (Avenue).

“It was a bunch of people playing it and I was like, ‘I don’t like this.’ I deleted it because I was like, ‘This is some mind-control stuff.’ I don’t like it.”

Now obviously Larry Warford doesn’t actually think Pokemon Go is a form of mind control. It’s not like the government created an app that forces people to think and act in a certain way, right? Catching squirtles doesn’t trick your mind into thinking taxes are good and manufacturing overseas helps the middle class. But watching dopes drone around the docks looking for water-based Pokemon, it does look suspect. If aliens visited and saw kids walking around in packs, looking up and down at their phones constantly, I think they’d head right back to their mothership. Mind control is not something you want to fuck with. They’d take one look at our zombie-like militia, say “no thanks,” and crack a white UFO.

What’s crazy is Pokemon Go is marketed as a video game that forces you out on the town. But in reality, it’s just a bunch of kids more obsessed with their phones than ever heading to the same outdoor spots every night trying to get lucky. In the olden days, trying to get lucky meant a possible makeout session with Linda from astronomy class. Now it means powering up to level 15 while a bunch of chicks sit alone under the stars.

P.S

How about all these sports news outlets running headlines that make it seem like Warford actually thought it was mind control? Come on, he’s just playing around. Well actually I haven’t checked his concussion history so I may not be so sure. But you get my point.

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