I Don’t Really Care About The Olympics

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I don’t want to come off as a curmudgeon or a hater. But I have a confession to make. I don’t care at all about the upcoming Olympic games. Growing up I thought of the Olympics as a big deal. Country bragging rights, nations coming together, athletes draped in flags, it all was quite the spectacle. But now? I’d rather watch a Seinfeld episode that I’ve seen a thousand times over 20 seconds of pole vaulting. I find more drama in a Chopped mystery basket than I do in a Tunisian traversing a balance beam. Call me unpatriotic. Call me a commie. Call me simple minded. I just don’t care.

One reason I don’t care is because the U.S. is gonna win. I have no clue why, but we have all the best athletes and it’s not even close. We know we’re gonna win. Other countries know we’re gonna win. We know that other countries know that we know we’re gonna win. And that’s the catch-22 about sports. You want your team to succeed, but you also want the possibility of failure. It sucks the drama out of it if you know your team is gonna win. Fans go crazy when their teams lose, but losing keeps you invested. This is why Cleveland Browns fans are among the most passionate in the league. They know winning on the field isn’t guaranteed, so they stay in the Municipal Lot longer to give themselves a better chance at winning in beer pong.

Even if the U.S. doesn’t win I won’t care to be honest. And I don’t think most people care either. People just like to say they care because you’re supposed to. But I’m here to erase the stigma. Let’s say it loud. It won’t effect my life at all who wins the most medals, or swims the most laps, or who throws the shot put to Ethiopia. There’s just too many countries to count and too many athletes I don’t know. But I will watch USA Basketball because I actually know the players. But I’ll probably turn it off if we’re up 60 against Zimbabwe.

P.S- If Draymond keeps sending out dick pics, I’ll keep writing Olympic blogs. That’s a promise.

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