Evan From Bachelor In Paradise Is The Nerd From High School Staring At The Popular Girl At Her Locker

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USA Today

Compared to Hurricane Chad reaching land and Josh Murray appearing and addressingthose allegations from Andi Dorfman’s tell-all, Tuesday’s Bachelor in Paradise was relatively calm. For the first 55 minutes or so. Until Evan Bass decided to make a play for Amanda Stanton, the woman that could be found at the edge of Josh’s tongue.

After being dumped by Carly Waddell, and shedding more than a few tears, Evan decided to make his own date card and invite Amanda to the tree house for dinner.

This seemed like a peculiar choice since Amanda and Josh had been joined at the lips since their date.

“I know she’s with Josh right now,” Evan confided in the cameras. “But, I want to do something where it’s like, ‘Hey, here I am.’ Maybe there’s something inside of you that says, ‘I really like this guy.'”

I believed in you, Evan. After watching Chad clown all over you in the Bachelorette, I thought you could overhaul your image in Paradise. Maybe you’d strut right onto the beach with your medically-induced dick in your hand. Flaunt your tattoos off a bit. Talk about how you’re such a good dad, you knew you could drop everything to come on a reality show, and your kids would be even better off without you.

But no. Instead Evan went the weird kid in high school route. He stared at the girl of his dreams while she made out with the starting quarterback until he gained enough courage to walk over and say hi. And not a normal ‘hi.” An awkward, is-this-the-guy-who’s-been-staring-at-me hi. And now Evan, armed with the amount of self confidence that Chad takes in steroids, is taking it the extra mile. Rather than waving and running away like most would, he’s about to declare his interest in Amanda while she’s mid-make out with some other dude. Now I’ve never broken up a passionate make out on the beach, but if I did I would make sure the girl knew my name first.

“She wants me, she just doesn’t know it yet.” -Evan/every nerd who asks a hot girl which beaker to use in physics class.

P.S

The producers are like the nerd’s friends in the situation, egging him on to make a move.

“Dude, she wants you, she’s just playing hard to get.”

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