El Chapo Bragged To Sean Penn About How Awesome His Drug Operation Is

CNN

In Penn’s article, published in Rolling Stone on Saturday, Guzman touted his drug trade, saying he “supplies more heroin, methamphetamine, cocaine and marijuana than anybody else in the world.”

Penn met Guzman in person in October. It was a sit-down meeting that started with a warm hug and lasted seven hours.

“He pulls me into a ‘compadre’ hug, looks me in the eyes and speaks a lengthy greeting in Spanish too fast for my ears,” Penn wrote of their first encounter.

“I have a fleet of submarines, airplanes, trucks and boats,” he told Penn.”

First of all I have no idea why Sean Penn was the guy who secretly met with El Chapo. Feel like that’s a job for Anderson Cooper. Two minutes into the sit-down, AC would’ve had Chapo tearfully telling him about his abusive father and how he never felt in control and turned to selling drugs to feel powerful. By the end of the interview, I’d imagine Chapo would say “call me Joaquin” and beg for forgiveness for the thousands of brutal murders he’s committed.

And how about El Chapo just casually bragging about all the cool drugs he exports. Was he not at all concerned with seeming full of himself? He sounded like a 3rd grader boasting about all the baseball cards he owns. “I got Ken Griffey Jr. rookie year, Sammy Sosa pre-steroids, Barry Bonds mint condition.” Only with lethal amounts of drugs and devices to transport said drugs.

Also where is he getting these figures from? Is Stringer Bell in the back working the finances? How does he know he supplies more than anyone else out there? Couldn’t there be some dude named El Grande out of Costa Rica racking up higher sales and more murders? Does El Grande have a more efficient business model? A better strategy to avoid constantly getting caught?

P.S- Best part about El Chapo is his birthday on Wikipedia. They’re not sure if he was born Christmas Day ’54 or April 4th, ’57. Definitely one of the two though, that’s for damn sure.

Screen Shot 2016-01-11 at 11.54.08 AM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *