Agent Gaad walked into that Thailand hotel room expecting one thing. Lots of sex with his Thai wife, well-cooked Thai food, and no KGB guys trying to extract information from him. Okay, that was more than one thing, but it sounds more dramatic that way.

The ole finger pointing routine. It’s a veteran move by Steinbrenner. If you call out one player, you look like a jerk. It’s embarrassing to single one guy out. So he’s going scorched Earth.

Well played, Rougned. Too often we see fake apologies in this world. Like when your uncle says something racist at the Thanksgiving table and then has to apologize to your Indian roommate.

Rob Manfred is just like us. Joe Schmo who gets home from work, watches a couple innings, then says he watched the whole game.

I was all set to tell Barry to shut up. You didn’t steal bases, why should you be telling Harper too? But then I checked his baseball reference. And Bonds has 514 career steals.

You probably read that headline and have no idea what I’m talking about. I thought you guys were into sports?

I’m a huge Bill Simmons podcast guy. I listen to almost every one. I’m all about podcasts, especially when it’s late and I’m trying to get some shuteye.

With the news of Skip Bayless moving over to FS1 to create an all-star take team, ESPN has a major void in its morning show. There is currently nobody to sit across from Stephen A. Smith and disagree with him on every single point, no matter if he actually disagrees or not.

This is becoming like the NFL schedule. The MLB is announcing that it will soon announce who the player who tested positive was. Teams are now on high alert. Players are locking themselves in the dugout.

I am debuting my newest segment here. Actually I don’t have any segments so I’m debuting my first segment. Commenting On Stephen A. Smith’s Comments will serve to contextualize Stephen A. Smith’s Comments.

I was in the building last night (brag) so I’m just seeing this video for the first time (humble). Wow. That was even worse than I remember from the nosebleeds. Now I wonder if the Hawks drew up a play and Teague just forgot what to do?

Awesome story on ESPN today. Rico Gathers, the big mauler on the boards from Baylor, not only is entering the NFL draft, but has maybe been planning to all along. I gotta tip my cap to Rico.

A great Friday wake-up to get the blood flowing. We’ve all wanted to run on the field. We’ve all wanted to feel the outfield grass. The rush of juking security. The fear of getting caught. The thrill of hiding behind Johnny Damon’s ass.

Curt Schilling’s recent Facebook activity has made me wonder what the worst types of Facebook commenters are. There’s not much more I need to add to this intro but I usually like to add a couple sentences before I get to the content. To the contestants.

Stephen A. Smith is not always the most rational commentator. But he is right on the money with this Stanley Johnson rant. Why the heck is an NBA rookie going after LeBron James? Actually why would any player say they were in someone’s head when their team is down 2-0 in the series?

We all know Curt Schilling is an idiot on social media. Just expressing any kind of controversial opinion on Facebook is risky. But when you’re throwing out takes you know are gonna piss literally everyone off, what’s the point of posting?

Thought we’d give some love to Randy Johnson after the latest Curt Schilling fiasco. Maybe this is a weird way to give the Big Unit love but this is what I remember when I hear ‘Randy Johnson.’ A 6’10 dude demolishing a bird with a 100+ fastball.

I want to preface my point by saying this was a great piece. Ramona Shelburne clearly spent a ton of time with Kobe and captured his essence. There were some telling anecdotes and masterful quotes. But I’m getting a little tired of the blind Kobe love.

So I took a stroll to the vending machine at work yesterday. Threw a buck in, clicked E9 or whatever it was, and out came 3 delicious chocolate chip cookies. Or so I expected.

In honor of the NBA playoffs, here’s a throwback to one of the weirdest NBA moments ever. This feels like ages ago. Dwight Howard was a beloved young star. The four-out Magic were making deep playoff runs. Jameer Nelson was a quality fantasy bench guy. And it all culminated in this.

I don’t even know what to say. That was the weirdest video I’ve ever watched. But I couldn’t take my eyes off it. My question is has Eric never heard of Tinder before? Maybe he should go that avenue because no one in their right mind could watch this video and think “that’s my soul mate.”

I think it’s about time we declare that RG3 is back. You don’t just drop that many hammerhead quotes at the podium without knowing you’re back. Just look at all the previous Browns quarterbacks. Those guys were losers.

In all seriousness though I can’t believe how quickly this video went away. Yes there was outrage. Yes Carter gave a half-assed apology. But there’s no doubt those were Carter’s genuine feelings on the matter.

You think this kid wants to go to school? You think he wants to learn algebra and the pythagorean theorem and the history of American politics? Go play at recess with the boys and run away from girls with cooties? Nah. Not this kid.

I can see why Gibbons is pissed. He’s an old school baseball guy. Probably says things like “put one on his chin” and actually carries a book of written. unwritten baseball rules. I’m sure he makes his kid finish a full bag of sunflower seeds each night before bed and disciplines the kid by making him sleep without shoes.

Every family has that old person who’s out of touch. Like your grandpa who still thinks he’s in the war or your great aunt who calls kissing “necking.” Vin Scully plays that role to a tee for the Dodgers.

Color me shocked! Iggy Azalea isn’t leaving Nick Young despite him admitting to cheating on her. And it’s not like he cheated on her one time and feels horrible about it. He was bragging to a teammate about his escapades and only feels bad because he got caught publicly. Let’s call it how it is.

THORRRRRRRRRR. He’s back baby. 6 innings, no runs, 9 K’s against the Royals yesterday. Hair already in midseason form. Mets notch their first victory of the year. I’m so ready for this Mets season

Contrary to the tone of this title, I actually like the idea. You got your Twitter feed up on the side of your screen and the game to the other. You can immediately tweet your thoughts and probably rewind and post awesome plays. Also it’s free which is huge for people who have cancelled cable subscriptions.

That’s exactly what someone who has an apocalypse bunker but doesn’t want anyone mooching off his apocalypse bunker would say. You think Morrison’s gonna spill the beans? Think he’s gonna tell you about all the ammunition, hunting rifles and canned beets? He may as well just open up the place to the public.